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I was thinking back on the past year and some of the lessons I’ve learned. There were so many good things that happened this year but to be honest. It was HARD. The pandemic affected every aspect of our lives. Regulations were changing weekly and it felt like we were in a state of fluidity for over a year. I’m a very flexible person by nature but I thrive best when I know what to expect and have a set schedule. That went flying out the window when the world shut down. This list is more for me than anyone. I never want to forget when we faced a pandemic and when I saw characters shine bright and neighbors band together. I hope a few of these stories help you process your past year as well….

1. Be Gentle. I don’t know if I ever remember a time when such harsh words were spoken and opinions forced on one another. I respect anyone who will stand for what they believe but to assume the rest of the world needs to feel the same way boggles me.

2. Create BOUNDARIES. I’m a people-pleaser and never want to say no to someone (I’ve come a long way but still have room for a lot more growth). But there came a time when friends were sharing information with me that was too much for me to respond to. They didn’t live locally and couldn’t fully understand what were were facing in the city. I was feeling emotionally fragile and the excess of information wasn’t healthy for me to take on. I had to kindly ask them to stop…not because I was refusing to dialogue but I wasn’t able to at the time.

3. Protect your HEART. I find when I am physically drained I tend to become emotional. Anyone else this way? 🙂 It’s good to stay aware of this tendency. When small things were looking big, I had to remind myself to get my sleep, talk with God, and process things in a safe place with a trusted friend.

4. Have conversations FACE to FACE. I had several friends want to dialogue about the pandemic and lots of “hot topic” conversations. I held back from having them if they couldn’t be face to face. This was a struggle because our city was in lock down for months and I have felt the weight of that and it makes me sad. There is something about truly hearing someone when you can look them eye to eye. Misunderstandings don’t happen near as fast when you are sharing a conversation sitting with a friend.

5. Keep DIVERSE friends. I have friends from all over the globe. It’s beautiful really, but it can also create some friction when geographically you are facing different scenarios. Even my family in Pennsylvania couldn’t fully understand what we were facing in the city. It was one of the hardest things I had to do when I told my family were weren’t coming home for the holidays. But…keeping diverse friends lets you see into other worlds. It keeps you from being surrounded with the same beliefs and challenges you to know what you stand for and why. It also keeps you gentle to opposing views when a dear friend may think differently.

6. Stick to healthy habits. Daniel and I saw each other falling into some bad habits during the first lock down. We were going to bed late, not working out and having too much screen time. When we formed some solid habits and poured ourselves into our jobs-even when it was slow-we became much for healthy.

7. Care for others. When every grocery store was out of toilet paper and flour we used our restaurant connections to get both items in bulk and distribute to our neighbors. I remember one night Daniel came home late from dropping off toilet paper at a neighbor who couldn’t get outside. He walked into the house with a lovely peace Lilly. Our neighbor was so grateful he gave us the plant. I know this sounds simple, but at the time it was such a sweet encouragement. Even if it doesn’t look glamorous, take the opportunity to care for others. Most times, you end up being blessed more than you could imagined.