Celebrating Mother’s Day…when my arms are empty
“Weep with those who weep.” Growing up I heard this verse many times. I was taught to care for people and love them during the hard times. But life and experiences have a way of showing me I have so much more to learn. I long to not just feel bad but to truly empathize. To care.
This year will mark 5 years of waiting for a baby. Years of empty arms and dimming hope. Mother’s Day is coming-and with it-all kinds of mixed feelings. One year I didn’t want to go to church to hear yet another sermon about Motherhood and be surrounded with friends and their children. But like most things…time heals. It never goes away but it does heal. “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.” -Rumi
I have read the first part of this verse on Mother’s Day for the past few years: “Rejoice with those who rejoice.” How can I rejoice with all my friends and mothers when my arms are empty?! When some days the ache is so deep it just won’t go away! Rejoice. I am here to tell you friends, you can! You can find joy. I claimed this verse even when my heart couldn’t. I now look forward to Mother’s Day. An entire day I can celebrate my own Mother and friends. Motherhood is so beautiful and somedays really hard. I respect my friends who put themselves last everyday.
And yes, I still feel the ache but I wouldn’t trade what God has taught me about caring and celebrating with others for the world. He has softened me in places I never knew were hard. I now receive so much encouragement and support from my friends. The cards and texts have already started…dear friends letting me know they care and haven’t forgotten.
One of my favorite quotes of all time:
“Celebrate her success without questioning your own.” -Jenna Kutcher
I believe every woman should have a chance to tell her story. In honor of all the wonderful mothers I know, I will be starting a new blog series: Stories of Motherhood. It will be a short interview of mothers from all different stages of life. Stay tuned! I have learnt when you embrace other’s gifts they feel like your own. Celebrate with them!
Wherever you are in life my fiend, know you aren’t alone. Even in the dark, sad places there is hope and healing. “Turn your worries over to the Lord. He will keep you going.” Psalm 55:22a
Love this!! I have found that weeping with those that weep is often a lot easier than rejoicing with those that rejoice.. especially if they have what I want. Blessings!
Hi..Dear sister !! Your post is just so beautiful and refreshing. May the Lord bless you richly for accepting this season of your life. Love n prayers Mary Catherine Hartzler
Beautifully written. It is so hard to take head knowledge, apply it to the heart and then live it out. I pray this Mother’s day is precious for you!
I would enjoy getting your blogs! I am Darlene Troyer’s sister. We have been married 10 yrs an have no biological children but we have adopted a little boy an have a 2 yr old foster girl.
I’m sorry. It’s an ache that doesn’t go away. It doesn’t have the finality of death because each month there is another chance of a miracle, that your wait might be over and the journey to motherhood beginning. Sometimes I wished that I could just accept infertility and no longer HOPE, hope hurt too much when it was unfulfilled.
And now I’ve changed camps. After 6 long years of infertility our empty arms were filled. We had a baby and another and another…and then adopted three times.
I’m so sorry for your hurt. Praying for God to fill that void.
Aww, God bless you for how you are usingyou are using your journey to glorify Him and bless others. I’m so blessed by reading this.
I can empathize with you. We were also childless for 5 years: but then God allowed me to become pregnant and we are now blessed with two sons. 🙂 I would love to chat with you over coffee because I can sense your sensitive heart! Your choice to choose joy is inspiring and will bless others I’m sure!
This is so beautiful! My husband and I waited for over six years before we had a baby in our arms. This year mother’s day is really difficult and hard because it will be the first one without my mom.
I’m so sorry. I was childless for five years as well. It was SO hard to rejoice when my heart was breaking. Then in the next six years God gave us five children…four through adoption and one biological (he’s actually our youngest). It’s so natural for a woman to desire children. It’s so easy to feel like we aren’t ‘enough’ when we can’t even do what we were made to do. I look back now on those five childless years and wish I had chosen joy more often. God will give you the desires of your heart. Praying for you today.
Wow. Bless your heart. After a miscarriage, a diagnosis, and months upon months of treatment we finally have our rainbow and miracle baby!! While we are rejoicing in our gift, it’s also a hard time as some of our childless friends feel we we are to joyful. I know it’s painful. I try to be sensitive. I’m gifting them with flowers for Mother’s Day and hope they feel cared for. And I will celebrate our miracle gift.
I have tears in my eyes as I read this. Your pain and strength and courage touch me deeply. May you have peace and joy in your present blessings.
Beautifully written! I to struggled with empty arms and yes Mother’s Day was hard. But God works in wonderful ways, when I surrendered my life to the fact that God may have a different plan for me, everything is so much better. Isaiah 54:1-2 absolutely beautiful verses to read. We are now looking forward to growing our family through adoption. Rejoicing that you found joy as well.
How wonderful Namoi! Thank you for sharing. ❤️ Adoption is beautiful and hard…we hope to still adopt one day.
I found this blog unexpectedly. Beautiful photography . My heart hurts for you
I can sympathize all too well. We waited 12 looooong years , while through many tears, prarers, disappointments and appointments, although so many precious times with my husband, we now have 2 sons through IVF. We grew so much in our faith, giving up, patience, humility and just trusting the Lord. Oh but such a painful process. But we chose to enjoy the life we were given and had so many good times along the way. We really missed our quiet, carefree life…but wouldn’t have changed it back for the world. I believe our life is truly all in how we choose to live it…with God’s grace and guidance of course. We can choose wether we want to live in a pity me state or we can choose to let the hurts and hardships shape us and try to find the joy in whatever our lot in life is.
I found what made me happiest was to take a meal to a new mom, to give someone a ride or to help wherever it was needed. There were some thing I avoided to protect my ❤️. I rarely held newborns and I tended to avoid pregnant moms and sometimes I had to leave a room discreetly when all the talk was about babies. I would entertain the toddlers alot in gatherings or talk to the older women at church. The single ladies were also the most interesting to me. HUGS to you this mother’s day.