Thoughts about Becoming a Mother
If you call my name,
I will listen.
If you reach for me,
I will hold you.
If you need me,
I will be there.
And when you are grown,
I will still.
It’s hard to believe that in a few short weeks (6 weeks to be exact!), my husband and I will be experiencing parenthood – for the first time. How is this possible? How are we here already? It’s so hard to believe that a newborn will be in our home soon… And yet, in other ways it feels we’ve been anticipating this moment for forever. The Lord is so good to us and we are grateful to be on this journey. We are so excited! But let’s be totally honest – it looks daunting at the same time!
As I think about motherhood and becoming a mother, I have myriads of thoughts and feelings that run in a never-ending circle in my brain. What will it be like? How will I handle the adjustment of going from being just a wife, to a mother and wife? I talk to so many parents that say their world was TOTALLY changed after having a child. Am I ready to have my world rocked like this? By the grace of God, I hope the answer is yes! I know that in the times when the responsibility feels heavy or overwhelming, that God will be there for us. I hope that I can cling to the promise in 2 Corinthians: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. I’m sure there will be times I feel weak and helpless, but what a powerful truth that, even in those moments, we can be perfected through Christ!
It’s very exciting to think about being a mother. I think God puts a motherly instinct within each one of us adult ladies. Some people may have their own biological children while others may be helping orphans, adopting, babysitting, or just having a caring heart for the little ones. I believe with Robert Heinlein that “Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation”.
Being a mother to a child that’s still in the womb, this won’t be a page that’s written with words of wisdom per se, but more my hopes and dreams about motherhood. Obviously, I want to be the BEST mother in the world for our little baby. Isn’t that every mother’s simple desire? I want to be a kind and Godly example that sticks by our child’s side no matter what he/she is going through. When our baby is newborn and growing, I want to be the loving nurturer that meets every need whether small or great. I want to shower our little baby with so much love that he/she feels safest when by my side or my husband’s. I want our baby to know how much we care about him/her. As our child grows, I have dreams of having cozy traditions like reading stories before naptime or before bedtime, and always tucking him/her in with a kiss and a prayer; or starting the day with snuggles and hugs before getting busy with the day’s tasks; or taking daily fresh-air walks together; or just listening to the little things that are going on in his/her mind. As our child reaches adulthood, I want to be a listener, a Christ-like counselor, a teacher, and just a “mom” that has a place for him/her to crash after a hard day of school or work. I want to create an environment that’s homey for my child, but at the same time a place where he/she learns what it means to have discipline and grow into a respectable adult. My greatest desire is that my child will have a passion to follow Jesus. Although I’m an imperfect human to be teaching a child about Jesus, I can hold onto that promise that Christ perfects us through our weakness!
Some of my dreams of being a mother come from examples of my childhood. I had a Christian mother who cared about me and loved me like no other. She taught me so many things about life from toddler to adulthood. I remember all the little traditions and routines she had with me that made me part of who I am today. Every night my mom or dad would kiss me on the cheek and pray with me. On summer nights my siblings and I would be given the freedom to play outside till it was dark and then go to bed after a little bedtime snack. On winter nights, mom would often read us stories from A.A.Milne, Laura Ingalls Wilder, or something of that nature. The best part about winter story time was climbing into mom’s bed and circling around her under the covers to stay cozy and warm. Mom was very routine – bedtime was the same time every night and so was our waking hour!! Kids tend to thrive on routine so it worked out great. Another tradition was the weekly day (Saturdays!) when there was no school and mom would let us sleep in and then go on errands with our dad, which included possibly getting a lollipop or some candy out of the deal. I also was a homeschooled child so I feel like my mom invested a lot of extra time teaching me. And although no mother is perfect, I would love to strive to be similar to my own mother. As the quote goes by Abraham Lincoln: “All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”
As I look forward to embarking on this journey called motherhood, I do not take the task lightly. I feel it’s an amazing calling that God has given me and I want to embrace it no matter where the journey may lead. Most of all, I want to be a loving mother, just as my Jesus has loved me no matter what. In chapter 31 of Jeremiah, there’s a beautiful verse that I will end with. [The Lord said] “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”
“How do you spell ‘LOVE’ ?” – Piglet
“You don’t spell it, you feel it.” – Pooh By a mother-to-be,